Matchmaker Universe, make me a match.

In the not so very distant past, I confided in a friend about a certain relationship predicament. Her consoling words to me were, "If it's meant to be, it'll work out somehow."

While I appreciate my friends willingness to listen and her attempt at making me feel better, this is a concept that I simply cannot accept. It seems like I meet a lot of people who share this idea that somehow, miraculously, everything will simply fall into place. That some where out there, is a soulmate who is also waiting for the universe to gently place them into the same vicinity where upon meeting they'll fall madly in love and live happily ever after. And then these same people seem to wonder why their relationships so often go wrong. (Now I fully admit that I'm not an expert on love. However, I do spend a lot of time observing people.)

We see this mind set all the time in books, movies and TV. Our culture seems to surround us by mushy love stories of meant for each other couples who against all odds still can work things out. The guys from the internet show, What You Ought to Know, came up with a formula for this idea that is repeatedly seen in romantic comedies (click the link to see the whole video): city scape, theme music, meant for each other, misunderstanding, chase scene, make up, make out, theme music, city scape, the end. While this is a humorous take on this idea, I believe it actually has a lot of merit.

The reason that all romantic comedies and even other stories, can be so predictable is because they are stories; Works of fiction. And while a nice diversion from life, often do not mimic reality. These types of stories are probably the brain child of some poor romantic soul, who is trying to through their work rewrite their own disappointing stories to finish with a happier ending. Take Jane Austin, for example, she wrote all of her stories so that the girl got the rich, handsome man because her own life didn't work out that way.

Now I realize that this makes me sound like a terrible cynic, but bear with me. It's not that I don't believe love exist because I do. I believe, however, that the popular ideas of soul mates, hollywood love, and happily ever after, are a bit simplistic. I don't believe that there is one person out that that is unequivocally meant to be with me. I believe their are people that are better suited for me than others, based on personality, interests, beliefs, etc, but that there are many men out there that I could be very happy with. I also believe that am I lucky enough to find one of these men, that it's not going to automatically fall into place for me. The universe simply doesn't work that way. The only way a relationship will work out is if both parties are equally committed to making that relationship work. I don't subscribe to the idea that love is some fluttery, warm fuzzy feeling you get when you're with someone. That's infatuation. Love is a much deeper emotion that must be cultivated over time and takes an incredible amount of work to maintain. And even with both people being equally committed, it's not going to be easy. So going back to the previously mentioned relationship predicament, I knew that it wouldn't work out because we were not equally committed to making it work.

So next time you're wondering why your romance didn't work out like the movies, remember the universe isn't a friendly matchmaker. It works rather more like a swift kick from reality to propel you into action to make that relationship work.

(I would love to hear reactions to this post.)

Hat Mania!

Recently I've become very bored with my current wardrobe and have decided to start to change it up. Since I can't completely replace all my clothing, I've been trying to find ways to make what I have more chic and unique. I love the vintage look, and I've been playing around with various accessories such as scarves, jewelry and hats. Hats are my new obsession. I love them! Every time I wear them I get the nicest smiles and compliments.

With all the buzz about the royal wedding, I decided I wanted to try my hand at making a hat from materials I already had around the house. Using some scrap fabric, an old headband, a ribbon, a piece of cardboard, some feathers and a hot glue gun, I created this. I wore it church and got some great compliments, although my mom told me that I need to add more trimmings to make it more flamboyant. I think I agree with her.

This is my most recent hat acquisition. I saw it at Target and thought it was too cute to pass up. I wore it to a graduation last weekend and as usual got many compliments on it. One older lady said she was so thrilled to see me wearing a hat. We then had a lovely conversation about hats and fashion. It seems to me the older generation really like when I wear hats, this is probably because it reminds them of when all the ladies wore hats.

This is my favorite hat. It's vintage and was given to me by a friend who bought it thinking she would like it, then decided it wasn't really her style. I adore it. The broad brim is glamorous, and I love the beautiful simplicity of it.

This is my newsie hat that my friend Joni knitted for me. Unfortunately, it's wool and it accidentally got sent through the wash and got a bit felted, so the cable detail isn't as noticeable. I was able to stretch it back out to fit my head and it still looks cute.

This final hat was my grandmothers. I wore it to a 1940's themed formal event in college. I think it's fantastic.

Tea with the Mad Hatter

So, I'm kind of having fun writing poetry. I love Alice in Wonderland, so I thought it would be fun to write a poem about the Mad Hatter. It still needs some work but here is it anyway.

Tea with the Mad Hatter

If I were to have tea with the Mad Hatter

What fun it would be, with riddles

And nonsense and crumpets and tea.

A chat with the March Hare, how confusing!

He’s quite off his rocker, that is if he had one

Which I honestly doubt, so he’s the sanest around.

The Hatter, you see, is crazy as they come,

But what if they’re going? I think you’ll agree

The Hatter is just as sane as you and me.

Of course, they say I’m not all there, but

If I’m not all there, then I must be all here.

And isn’t here the best place to be?

If you say what you mean, do you

Mean what you say? Have I taken leave of

My senses, or have they taken leave of me?

I’ll ponder the riddle until my brain is quite sore.

Ravens and writing desks, the answer is there,

To those with madness like the Hatter and Hare.

“Time has been killed” the queen proclaimed

So it’s “Teatime forever” the Hatter exclaims

Three spots to the left and it all starts again.

So if you’ve gone bonkers, join us please.

Sit back and enjoy a nice cup of tea with

The Hatter, the Hare, the Dormouse and me.

Samson the Flatulent

On my walk today I found myself wishing I had a dog to take with me. This brought to mind a memory from the year I was an international volunteer on the island of Palau. My roommate and I decide we needed a regular exercise routine, and so for the period of about a month we regularly got up at 5 a.m to go walking. We chose to go so early for a couple reasons; It gave us plenty of time to exercise and still get ready for school on time, and since the sun had not yet come up, it was the coolest part of the day.

Since it was still dark and there were wild dogs, not to mention we were young women, we decided it would be best to have some sort of protection for ourselves. So, we would take our friends' black lab, Samson, with us. Looking back I'm not sure why we thought that Samson would be good protection, since he was really the type of dog that would kill you with love. Luckily he never had to prove to us whether or not he had that fighter instinct in him. He did, however, prove something else to us. Samson was the most flatulent dog I had ever seen.

Each morning we would head up the hill to our friends' house, and Samson would greet us excitedly. We would put the leash on and take off on our walk. Samson would prance in front of us as if he were a king and we were his courtiers. With each step he would exude squeaky farts, blissfully unaware of his gastrointestinal problem.

Unfortunately, my roommate and I both got sick, which successfully put an end to our exercise routine. But we didn't stop loving that dog.

The Music Box

This month is National Poetry Writing Month (napowrimo) and although I'm not actually participating in the 30 poems in 30 days challenge, I thought it would be fun to at least write some poetry. So here is the first poem I've written this month.

The Music Box

Childhood treasures

Lost from adult consciousness

Enthrall the childish imagination

Somewhere deep inside.

Spinning 'round and 'round

To delicate tunes

She steals my heart away

With her smiling eyes.

The world seems bright and happy

Filled with hopes and dreams

Far beyond the little girl in ruffles

And her Irish figurine.

Surprise Party? Sure thing!

I went to Red Robin today. It made me think of the first time I went to Red Robin, which was without a doubt the most memorable time.

To give you a little back ground, I am a rather shy and quiet person until one gets to know me, so upon arriving at college for the first time, I was worried I wouldn't make friends. This was quiet unnecessary because for some reason, within the first two days I was singled out by Julie, one of the most bubbly and out going people I know, to be her best friend. We were pretty much inseparable. It just so happened that we had three classes together. It was in our Public Speaking class that we met Beau. Our professor divided the class into Speech groups. We were to get together with our groups every week and practice our speeches on them before we gave them in front of the class and our professor. Beau, Julie and I all ended up in the same group and we click. Before we knew it, the three of us were hanging out outside of class and Beau's best friend, Krissy, joined us as well.

The four of us hung out all the time. So it was no surprise that Krissy came to Julie and I to tell us that she was planning a surprise birthday party for Beau at Red Robin on Saturday night at 8 o'clock. Neither Julie or I had a car at the time so Krissy suggested we call her friend Holly and ask to catch a ride with her. We called Holly and made the arrangements and were looking forward to the weekend. We made it through most of the week without mentioning the weekend or any plans to Beau. Then on Friday night, Beau approached the us and asked what we were doing saturday night. We were a bit taken back but managed to sufficiently convince him that we didn't really have anything planned. He didn't even seem to notice our slightly nervous responses. The rest of the conversation went something like this (and I promise I am not making this up):

Beau: "Good. Krissy's birthday is coming up and I want to throw her a surprise birthday party."

Us: "Oh okay."

Beau: "We're going to do it tomorrow night at Red Robin at 8 o'clock. Can you guys be there?"

(At this point we are fighting really hard to hold back the laugher that wanted to exploded forth.)

Us: "Sure. We'll be there"

Beau: "Good. If you need a ride, you can call Holly."

After he walked away, Krissy came to talk to us to make sure we could still make it the following evening and to assure us that Beau had no idea that we were throwing a surprise party for him.

We both thought it quite funny that two of our good friends had just planned the same surprise birthday party for each other. In fact, it was so bizarrely the same that it was hard to believe that they didn't know about each other's plans.

Well, Saturday night at 8 o'clock Julie, Holly and I arrived at the restaurant and sat down with the group of people to wait for the arrival of the birthday people. Beau was of course in charge of getting Krissy to her surprise party and Krissy was in charge of getting Beau to his surprise party. While we waited, we chatted with the other guests in attendance and learned that not only did they plan the same party but they invited exactly the same people as well.

As Beau and Krissy entered the restaurant, we held up a banner that said, "Happy Birthday, Beau and Krissy", and yelled surprise. Beau and Krissy both turned to each other expecting to see the surprise in their friend's face. But the surprise that we all saw was much much better, when it dawned on them exactly what they had done. Best. Birthday Party. Ever!

Plenty of Fish in the Sea

The dating scene can be tough, but there is always someone who seems almost ridiculously optimistic on your behalf. Usually these are the people who have already been lucky enough to find someone special and therefore can afford to be optimistic about love. One of my favorite phrases that these people use in an attempt to encourage me, is "there are plenty of fish in the sea". I love this particular saying because it always conjures up comical images of. . .well. . . fish. Whenever I hear this, I usually imagine something like this:

(In case you can't read what she's thinking, it says, "I'm going to be alone forever.")

I hope this made you smile. :-) Have a nice day, and remember... there are plenty of fish in the sea.

I Shall Return to Finish What I Have Started

This last November, I participated in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). The goal is 50,000 words in 30 days. Well, I sadly fell very short of my goal and have been fairly unmotivated to write since the end of NaNoWriMo. This is particularly troublesome since this is what I want to do with my life. If I want to make it as a writer, I can’t let my work sit lost in some dark recess of my hard drive waiting for its creator to return. Like Edward Scissor Hands, my novel is not finished. It is a mass of jumbled, barely legible words; an incomplete thought. I do not want to leave it to fend for itself in a cruel world without a purpose, without an identity, without hands (metaphorically speaking). So one of my goals in 2011 is to finish my novel. I may even be so bold as to set a goal to have my first draft finished by March. Let the writing begin.

How to Make Mundane Everyday Tasks More Exciting

I recently received a scolding for not having blogged in a long time. The truth is I often think about things I should blog on and sometimes even start thoughts but then never finish them, hence no posts in the last couple month. I admit that I am terrible at keeping things updated. But seeing as it is a new year, I suppose it might be an appropriate time to try to improve upon myself. I’m not going to make a resolution, because resolutions are made to be broken, however I will make a New Year’s goal to try to blog more often in 2011. This will also join my New Year’s goals to watch my spending more closely and to lose that 15 pounds I’ve put on since I graduated.

However, I’m not going to write a blog about my New Year’s goals because I suspect that everyone else is doing that and you don’t need to read one more blog about the changes someone is going to make for the up coming year. Instead am going to tell you my secrets to making mundane everyday tasks seem a bit more exciting.

Now for these techniques, it really helps if you have an imagination, other wise they might not work and you’ll just end up looking silly. Actually, you’ll probably end up looking silly anyway, which brings me to the second thing you’ll need – very little shame. You can’t be concerned with what other people think, otherwise it’ll just make you feel miserable.

Tip 1: I’m sure we’ve all had days where work was just dragging on and all we really want is to go home. In these instances, I find that it helps to hum the theme song to an exciting movie. Whatever is your favorite will work just fine. I find that humming the A Team theme helps work seem more epic and pass quickly. If you have a job that requires you to move about you can also walk in a sneaky manner and even throw in a few spy rolls. My theory is that life should have a soundtrack, that way you would always feel like every moment of your life is exciting and important.

Tip 2: Grocery shopping is not always the most exciting task. However, unless you grow all of your own food, you will find that it is nearly unavoidable all the time. So if you want to make this mundane task more exciting, you should turn grocery shopping into a game. I find that it helps to image my shopping cart as a game of Tetris and each item that I place into it is a funny shaped block that needs to be placed just right or else I will LOSE my game. You can also hum the Tetris theme, which helps it all seem more real.

Tip 3: One of my least favorite chores is doing the dishes. I have been unfortunate in that every place I have ever lived has NOT had a dishwasher. So if you are like me and find that you spend a good chunk of time washing dishes, here is what I do. There are two options for this chore. If you have a spouse or housemate, beware they may find this to be rather bothersome, but you’ll have fun. Option number one, this is the time when you get to be that pop star, opera singer or Broadway actor/actress that you’ve always wanted to be. It doesn’t matter whether you can actually sing or not. Pick your favorite tunes and croon them at the top of your lungs. Option number two, put on your favorite radio station or iTunes mix and dance around the kitchen as you work. The more ridiculous your dance moves, the better.

Tip 4: Laundry is one of those tasks that never are truly done. Even when you wash clothes there are more that immediately end up in the laundry. Whether you have to do your laundry at home or in Laundromat you can spruce up this mundane task with a little help from our friend Joss Whedon. If you find yourself a bit bored, hum tunes like Laundry Day from Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog. You can also imagine you are a secret evil villain and come up with your own plans for world domination. Or if you feel so inclined to be the cheesy super hero you can come up with your plans to stop the evil villain from his evil plans. And if you’re feeling particularly multi-personality, you can be both!

Tip 5: No matter the season there will always be some sort of yard work, whether it is weeding the garden, mowing the lawn, raking leaves, or shoveling the sidewalks, it is one of those pesky things that seems to stick around, unless you live in an apartment, in which case it is probably all done for you. The outdoors offers a great many possibilities, and they can change with each season. There are of course the obvious things like raking the leaves into a pile and taking a running leap into it. Trust me, you are never too old to jump into the middle of a pile of leaves. And snow in the winter offers many possibilities, such as throwing snowballs at passers by or the neighborhood children while you shovel the driveway. Snowmen are fun and you can be creative with snow sculptures. If you feel particularly mischievous you can build snowmen in the middle of people’s sidewalks or move all the snow from your sidewalk over to the sidewalk of that neighbor you dislike. There are of course less obvious options to help the time pass while you’re doing yard work. If you’re weeding the garden, use the mud to draw Native American war paint on your face and then dance around making up your own tribal dance. If you have to mow the lawn, pretend the lawn mower is a time machine that will take you to exciting places and eras. Use your imagination! The possibilities are endless.