How to be Bohemian

I have been told, recently, that I have a definite Bohemian vibe. Apparently this is a somewhat desirable style, so in the interest of all you out there who would like to perfect this Bohemian persona, I will give you a few pointers; things I do that make me Bohemian.

Step 1: The first thing you must do is to get a starving artist career. I chose out of work writer, but really any creative career that doesn’t pay shit will work just fine. Once you have achieved the poor artist status, the rest should come along pretty easily.

Step 2: Your appearance is very important. To achieve the Bohemian look, make sure to wear old, worn-out, poorly fitted clothing. It is important to remember to wear certain articles of clothing multiples times, such as jeans and sweatshirts. After all, your entire wardrobe should fit into a suitcase and you can’t afford to do laundry every few days. In addition, you should pretty much stop caring about whether your hair is perfect or you’re wearing make up.

Step 3: This step concerns your living arrangements. Since you’re a poor, out of work artist, you probably can’t afford a nice place. So your options are a cheap, but run down, tiny apartment, or moving in with someone who might appreciate a little help with the rent but doesn’t really need it. I, personally, chose the nomadic life. Sleeping on make shift beds, e.g. couches, futons, hide-a-beds, in living rooms of any friend who will take a little pity one me and offer a place to stay for a several weeks in exchange for a few buck to help with the bills. This life style is made easier by the fact that most of my belongings fit into a suitcase and my backpack.

Step 4: Mannerisms are very important. Of course the dark circles under your eyes add to your look and the constantly tired droop really screams Bohemian. Fortunately these are automatically taken care of by sleeping on uncomfortable make shift beds. Then there is the look in your eyes when a friend invites you over to eat. This is a look of pure happiness at the thought of eating something besides peanut butter sandwiches, ramen noodles, and cold cereal. Any day you get a full meal is a good day. Next, you need to frequent coffee shops. Of course, remember that you are too poor to buy the delicious but over priced mixed beverages, so you must stick to regular coffee, regular tea, or iced tea.

Step 5: Finally, you can’t live on nothing, so you’ll eventually need a job. This is no time to be prideful. Take anything you can get as long as it isn’t illegal or immoral. Those college degrees you worked so hard for don’t mean a thing. After several months of being unemployed, flipping burgers at McDonalds is looking pretty damn appealing.

(Disclaimer: This blog is meant to be a bit sarcastic and funny. I am by no means trying to provoke feeling of pity. I am actually quite happy, even though my life isn’t perfect.)