Matchmaker Universe, make me a match.

In the not so very distant past, I confided in a friend about a certain relationship predicament. Her consoling words to me were, "If it's meant to be, it'll work out somehow."

While I appreciate my friends willingness to listen and her attempt at making me feel better, this is a concept that I simply cannot accept. It seems like I meet a lot of people who share this idea that somehow, miraculously, everything will simply fall into place. That some where out there, is a soulmate who is also waiting for the universe to gently place them into the same vicinity where upon meeting they'll fall madly in love and live happily ever after. And then these same people seem to wonder why their relationships so often go wrong. (Now I fully admit that I'm not an expert on love. However, I do spend a lot of time observing people.)

We see this mind set all the time in books, movies and TV. Our culture seems to surround us by mushy love stories of meant for each other couples who against all odds still can work things out. The guys from the internet show, What You Ought to Know, came up with a formula for this idea that is repeatedly seen in romantic comedies (click the link to see the whole video): city scape, theme music, meant for each other, misunderstanding, chase scene, make up, make out, theme music, city scape, the end. While this is a humorous take on this idea, I believe it actually has a lot of merit.

The reason that all romantic comedies and even other stories, can be so predictable is because they are stories; Works of fiction. And while a nice diversion from life, often do not mimic reality. These types of stories are probably the brain child of some poor romantic soul, who is trying to through their work rewrite their own disappointing stories to finish with a happier ending. Take Jane Austin, for example, she wrote all of her stories so that the girl got the rich, handsome man because her own life didn't work out that way.

Now I realize that this makes me sound like a terrible cynic, but bear with me. It's not that I don't believe love exist because I do. I believe, however, that the popular ideas of soul mates, hollywood love, and happily ever after, are a bit simplistic. I don't believe that there is one person out that that is unequivocally meant to be with me. I believe their are people that are better suited for me than others, based on personality, interests, beliefs, etc, but that there are many men out there that I could be very happy with. I also believe that am I lucky enough to find one of these men, that it's not going to automatically fall into place for me. The universe simply doesn't work that way. The only way a relationship will work out is if both parties are equally committed to making that relationship work. I don't subscribe to the idea that love is some fluttery, warm fuzzy feeling you get when you're with someone. That's infatuation. Love is a much deeper emotion that must be cultivated over time and takes an incredible amount of work to maintain. And even with both people being equally committed, it's not going to be easy. So going back to the previously mentioned relationship predicament, I knew that it wouldn't work out because we were not equally committed to making it work.

So next time you're wondering why your romance didn't work out like the movies, remember the universe isn't a friendly matchmaker. It works rather more like a swift kick from reality to propel you into action to make that relationship work.

(I would love to hear reactions to this post.)

Hat Mania!

Recently I've become very bored with my current wardrobe and have decided to start to change it up. Since I can't completely replace all my clothing, I've been trying to find ways to make what I have more chic and unique. I love the vintage look, and I've been playing around with various accessories such as scarves, jewelry and hats. Hats are my new obsession. I love them! Every time I wear them I get the nicest smiles and compliments.

With all the buzz about the royal wedding, I decided I wanted to try my hand at making a hat from materials I already had around the house. Using some scrap fabric, an old headband, a ribbon, a piece of cardboard, some feathers and a hot glue gun, I created this. I wore it church and got some great compliments, although my mom told me that I need to add more trimmings to make it more flamboyant. I think I agree with her.

This is my most recent hat acquisition. I saw it at Target and thought it was too cute to pass up. I wore it to a graduation last weekend and as usual got many compliments on it. One older lady said she was so thrilled to see me wearing a hat. We then had a lovely conversation about hats and fashion. It seems to me the older generation really like when I wear hats, this is probably because it reminds them of when all the ladies wore hats.

This is my favorite hat. It's vintage and was given to me by a friend who bought it thinking she would like it, then decided it wasn't really her style. I adore it. The broad brim is glamorous, and I love the beautiful simplicity of it.

This is my newsie hat that my friend Joni knitted for me. Unfortunately, it's wool and it accidentally got sent through the wash and got a bit felted, so the cable detail isn't as noticeable. I was able to stretch it back out to fit my head and it still looks cute.

This final hat was my grandmothers. I wore it to a 1940's themed formal event in college. I think it's fantastic.