Plenty of Fish in the Sea

The dating scene can be tough, but there is always someone who seems almost ridiculously optimistic on your behalf. Usually these are the people who have already been lucky enough to find someone special and therefore can afford to be optimistic about love. One of my favorite phrases that these people use in an attempt to encourage me, is "there are plenty of fish in the sea". I love this particular saying because it always conjures up comical images of. . .well. . . fish. Whenever I hear this, I usually imagine something like this:

(In case you can't read what she's thinking, it says, "I'm going to be alone forever.")

I hope this made you smile. :-) Have a nice day, and remember... there are plenty of fish in the sea.

I Shall Return to Finish What I Have Started

This last November, I participated in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). The goal is 50,000 words in 30 days. Well, I sadly fell very short of my goal and have been fairly unmotivated to write since the end of NaNoWriMo. This is particularly troublesome since this is what I want to do with my life. If I want to make it as a writer, I can’t let my work sit lost in some dark recess of my hard drive waiting for its creator to return. Like Edward Scissor Hands, my novel is not finished. It is a mass of jumbled, barely legible words; an incomplete thought. I do not want to leave it to fend for itself in a cruel world without a purpose, without an identity, without hands (metaphorically speaking). So one of my goals in 2011 is to finish my novel. I may even be so bold as to set a goal to have my first draft finished by March. Let the writing begin.

How to Make Mundane Everyday Tasks More Exciting

I recently received a scolding for not having blogged in a long time. The truth is I often think about things I should blog on and sometimes even start thoughts but then never finish them, hence no posts in the last couple month. I admit that I am terrible at keeping things updated. But seeing as it is a new year, I suppose it might be an appropriate time to try to improve upon myself. I’m not going to make a resolution, because resolutions are made to be broken, however I will make a New Year’s goal to try to blog more often in 2011. This will also join my New Year’s goals to watch my spending more closely and to lose that 15 pounds I’ve put on since I graduated.

However, I’m not going to write a blog about my New Year’s goals because I suspect that everyone else is doing that and you don’t need to read one more blog about the changes someone is going to make for the up coming year. Instead am going to tell you my secrets to making mundane everyday tasks seem a bit more exciting.

Now for these techniques, it really helps if you have an imagination, other wise they might not work and you’ll just end up looking silly. Actually, you’ll probably end up looking silly anyway, which brings me to the second thing you’ll need – very little shame. You can’t be concerned with what other people think, otherwise it’ll just make you feel miserable.

Tip 1: I’m sure we’ve all had days where work was just dragging on and all we really want is to go home. In these instances, I find that it helps to hum the theme song to an exciting movie. Whatever is your favorite will work just fine. I find that humming the A Team theme helps work seem more epic and pass quickly. If you have a job that requires you to move about you can also walk in a sneaky manner and even throw in a few spy rolls. My theory is that life should have a soundtrack, that way you would always feel like every moment of your life is exciting and important.

Tip 2: Grocery shopping is not always the most exciting task. However, unless you grow all of your own food, you will find that it is nearly unavoidable all the time. So if you want to make this mundane task more exciting, you should turn grocery shopping into a game. I find that it helps to image my shopping cart as a game of Tetris and each item that I place into it is a funny shaped block that needs to be placed just right or else I will LOSE my game. You can also hum the Tetris theme, which helps it all seem more real.

Tip 3: One of my least favorite chores is doing the dishes. I have been unfortunate in that every place I have ever lived has NOT had a dishwasher. So if you are like me and find that you spend a good chunk of time washing dishes, here is what I do. There are two options for this chore. If you have a spouse or housemate, beware they may find this to be rather bothersome, but you’ll have fun. Option number one, this is the time when you get to be that pop star, opera singer or Broadway actor/actress that you’ve always wanted to be. It doesn’t matter whether you can actually sing or not. Pick your favorite tunes and croon them at the top of your lungs. Option number two, put on your favorite radio station or iTunes mix and dance around the kitchen as you work. The more ridiculous your dance moves, the better.

Tip 4: Laundry is one of those tasks that never are truly done. Even when you wash clothes there are more that immediately end up in the laundry. Whether you have to do your laundry at home or in Laundromat you can spruce up this mundane task with a little help from our friend Joss Whedon. If you find yourself a bit bored, hum tunes like Laundry Day from Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog. You can also imagine you are a secret evil villain and come up with your own plans for world domination. Or if you feel so inclined to be the cheesy super hero you can come up with your plans to stop the evil villain from his evil plans. And if you’re feeling particularly multi-personality, you can be both!

Tip 5: No matter the season there will always be some sort of yard work, whether it is weeding the garden, mowing the lawn, raking leaves, or shoveling the sidewalks, it is one of those pesky things that seems to stick around, unless you live in an apartment, in which case it is probably all done for you. The outdoors offers a great many possibilities, and they can change with each season. There are of course the obvious things like raking the leaves into a pile and taking a running leap into it. Trust me, you are never too old to jump into the middle of a pile of leaves. And snow in the winter offers many possibilities, such as throwing snowballs at passers by or the neighborhood children while you shovel the driveway. Snowmen are fun and you can be creative with snow sculptures. If you feel particularly mischievous you can build snowmen in the middle of people’s sidewalks or move all the snow from your sidewalk over to the sidewalk of that neighbor you dislike. There are of course less obvious options to help the time pass while you’re doing yard work. If you’re weeding the garden, use the mud to draw Native American war paint on your face and then dance around making up your own tribal dance. If you have to mow the lawn, pretend the lawn mower is a time machine that will take you to exciting places and eras. Use your imagination! The possibilities are endless.

Why I support my public library.

As a child, I remember going to the library with my mother. I would always walk out with a stack of books almost too big for me to carry. My brothers would have just as many and while I never recall my mother getting books, I’m sure she did. But at that age grown up books didn’t appeal to me. All of the books that the four of us would go home with would be checked out on my mother’s library card. I remember her keeping a careful watch on when the books were due. Could you imagine the fines we would accrue in a short amount of time with so many books? But my mother was always careful to return them on time. In fact, I’m not sure she has ever paid a library fine in her life.

When I was old enough to get my own library card I was thrilled. I would like to say that my mother’s careful watch of library due dates was one of the traits she passed on to me, but sadly it wasn’t. I try to be good and pay attention but somewhere along the three or so weeks I have a book I always forget. And it’s even worse than that because my childhood habit of walking out of the library with almost more books than I can carry has stuck with me. I often find myself at the counter of the library being asked, “Did you know you have some fines?” To this I usually reply, “No, but that doesn’t surprise me.”

I like to think that I’m actually doing some good by being so forgetful. It seems libraries struggle with funding from time to time. Paying fines makes me feel like I’m making a difference. In fact, sometimes it feels as if I’m supplying most of the libraries income. So if you want to know why I support my public libraries, the answer is simple. I love books, and I’m a bit scatterbrained.

How to be Bohemian

I have been told, recently, that I have a definite Bohemian vibe. Apparently this is a somewhat desirable style, so in the interest of all you out there who would like to perfect this Bohemian persona, I will give you a few pointers; things I do that make me Bohemian.

Step 1: The first thing you must do is to get a starving artist career. I chose out of work writer, but really any creative career that doesn’t pay shit will work just fine. Once you have achieved the poor artist status, the rest should come along pretty easily.

Step 2: Your appearance is very important. To achieve the Bohemian look, make sure to wear old, worn-out, poorly fitted clothing. It is important to remember to wear certain articles of clothing multiples times, such as jeans and sweatshirts. After all, your entire wardrobe should fit into a suitcase and you can’t afford to do laundry every few days. In addition, you should pretty much stop caring about whether your hair is perfect or you’re wearing make up.

Step 3: This step concerns your living arrangements. Since you’re a poor, out of work artist, you probably can’t afford a nice place. So your options are a cheap, but run down, tiny apartment, or moving in with someone who might appreciate a little help with the rent but doesn’t really need it. I, personally, chose the nomadic life. Sleeping on make shift beds, e.g. couches, futons, hide-a-beds, in living rooms of any friend who will take a little pity one me and offer a place to stay for a several weeks in exchange for a few buck to help with the bills. This life style is made easier by the fact that most of my belongings fit into a suitcase and my backpack.

Step 4: Mannerisms are very important. Of course the dark circles under your eyes add to your look and the constantly tired droop really screams Bohemian. Fortunately these are automatically taken care of by sleeping on uncomfortable make shift beds. Then there is the look in your eyes when a friend invites you over to eat. This is a look of pure happiness at the thought of eating something besides peanut butter sandwiches, ramen noodles, and cold cereal. Any day you get a full meal is a good day. Next, you need to frequent coffee shops. Of course, remember that you are too poor to buy the delicious but over priced mixed beverages, so you must stick to regular coffee, regular tea, or iced tea.

Step 5: Finally, you can’t live on nothing, so you’ll eventually need a job. This is no time to be prideful. Take anything you can get as long as it isn’t illegal or immoral. Those college degrees you worked so hard for don’t mean a thing. After several months of being unemployed, flipping burgers at McDonalds is looking pretty damn appealing.

(Disclaimer: This blog is meant to be a bit sarcastic and funny. I am by no means trying to provoke feeling of pity. I am actually quite happy, even though my life isn’t perfect.)

Peaceful Solitude

I’m writing this while sitting in one of my favorite chill spots. There are people around, but I don’t pay any attention to them. I am listening to music to drown out the world around me. I’m here because it’s peaceful and that’s what I need at this moment.

By nature, I tend to be a peacekeeper. Whether it is my personality, or the fact that I am a middle child (that is a common trait of middle children, so I read), I dislike conflict, and I like the people around me to get along. I also like keeping peace with-in myself.

Why do I mention this? Because I was also blessed, or cursed depending on how you look at things, with an incredible amount of empathy. This means that not only do I sympathize with the people around me, but also I actually can feel some of the same feelings they feel. I feed off of other peoples emotions. So another words, when I’m with someone who is very happy, I will feed off of their emotions and feel happy myself. But the opposite is also true. When I’m with someone who is depressed or sad, I will begin to feel that also. Actually, negative emotions seem to be stronger so I am pulled towards them more than the positive ones.

So when two or more members of my friends or family are not getting along, I feel very conflicted inside. Especially if I am caught in the middle, i.e. one or both parties vent their frustrations to me. I care about both sides, and so my emotions are being pulled in both directions. My brain isn’t sure how to respond.

It is these moments when I need to get away; to escape from people. Away from the situation, I can calm myself down and feel at peace again. Talking to a neutral third party doesn’t really help because it keeps the negative emotions at the surface, as well as adds the emotions of that person into the mix.

My solution: Solitude (or as close to it as I can get). I then turn to the one confidant I know I can trust not to add to my tumultuous emotional conflict: my journal. I have kept one since I was probably 12 years old. Empty pages have no emotions. They are always neutral, objective, and silent. This is why I write. Writing is my outlet. It’s how I solve problems. Sometimes it is the only way I know how to express myself. Writing brings me peace. Even if no one reads it, I must keep writing.